I tend to eat lunch a bit late in the afternoon. The main upside of this practice being that there’s generally no one else in line. And, of course, the main upside of that upside being that I get to talk to the the cute girl at Subway uninterrupted. It’s always grand to have an opportunity to exercise my transcendent colloquial talents. (Funny, I know.)
— A quick back-story. This same cute girl has been working at Subway for the entirety of it’s existence. I, on the other hand, have been ordering food from this Subway for the same extent of time. Seems almost like destiny don’t you think? Hah. Our conversations have, over time, become slightly more conversational, and as of late expanded to include the occasional more personal notes. Though still holding to the same old song and dance. … Man that back-story was life altering.. … well.. —
Today, like any other day, I walked in and approached the counter. She looked up and smiled. “Hey hun, how are you today?” “I’m alright, Yourself?” “Fine, Just one today?” She can generally judge from my attire whether I’m ordering for just myself or if I’m coming from work, in which case I’d be ordering for someone else also. “Just the one,” I responded. At which time she returned to the counter with my bread and began crafting my sub. During this time I asked her if she was enjoying the bridge work. (You see, this subway is in a truck stop by the interstate. And they’ve closed the bridge to raise it. Causing all sorts of issues. A major one being the fact that this station will lose probably 75% of it’s business for the estimated 6 weeks of the bridge’s closing.) Though I had asked her if she was excited about it the time before, the bridge was now closed, making it a slightly more valid question. Although, clearly I was still just grasping for anything. She talked about it as if she didn’t notice my feeble attempt at small talk, only interrupting with, “pepperjack, right? It hasn’t been that long has it?” “Yes, No, it hasn’t been that long at all. I think you’re just getting old.” Yay, sarcasm, my shield against social awkwardness!
In the even that you’re as socially inept as I am and can’t figure this out from my babbling, I am categorically awful at talking to people. My liberal use of sarcasm typically serves only to fan the flames of my ineptitude. In this case however, I received positive feedback from my remark. Commenting on how she felt old, she told me she could feel the rain in her bones. I was delighted to have the slightest bit of common ground now; seeing as I, too, feel like an old soul adding great age to my young body. Eventually she stated that she was probably older than me in a matter that hinted she was curious of my age. (Depending on my hair and facial hair along with my dress, my appearance can range between 16 and 30… And when I say dress I mean outfit. I try not to wear dresses… most of the time.) In my infinite wisdom, I neither stated my own age, nor asked for hers, leaving her the honors. So, she asked my age, to which I aptly replied 64. Resilient to my ever so witty conversation she merely responded, “I mean physical age, not mental.” At which time, I stood and said nothing because I’m an idiot. After an awkward pause while she was clearly waiting for my real answer she added, “Well, I’m 24 and..” I honestly don’t remember what she was saying at this point because I was already mentally kicking myself.
So, next time I go to get a sub I’ll start out by telling her my age and hopefully be able to carry on a conversation. Seeing as every time she’s asked me a question or given me to chance to show that I do understand common English I have utterly failed. As I do in all such situations.
To put things more simply. I would summarize today’s conversation with the following:
“Better luck next time.”
adarkspot 