I feel like I’ve got this figured out. Kinda maybe a little bit. So ya see. I feel like.. It’s just nature that guys end up being friend zoned. It seems to be exactly the way that it works in reverse, also. Hearing the phrase, ” Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’ comes to mind. So, often times, guys don’t date girls who are easy, one-night-stand types. These girls try to give the guy what he wants in order for him to like her, which basically has the entirely opposite effect. Guys generally go for the ones they have to chase after. . So I’ve decided that it’s apparently exactly the same way with girls, just different “milk.”
So. Girls have no need to date a guy who gives them friendship for free. I mean this is excessively simplified but it’s just to get the theme across. Guys, such as myself for one, and many many others, often end up being just a friend because we try to treat girls right. Hold doors for them. Pay for supper. Open the car door for them. Walk them to their door. Be there for them. Watch the movies and shows they want to watch. etc etc. When they get all of this from a guy.. without having to date.. they’d be stupid to change that dynamic. When you get what you want you try to hold the status quo, right? They guy, of course, is doing all this because he’s a good guy, and to show the girl what life would be like with him. The girl just sees, this is fantastic, I have no interest in this guy yet he’s still this good to me. What a great friend. Or, Why risk changing any of this as fantastic as it is. Girls instead end up dating jerks. Because they jerks are fixer uppers. It’s about the chase. If they can take a douche bag moron guy and Fix him, he’d be the best trophy ever. So, that’s exactly what they do. They date the jerk. Try to fix him. Get their heart broken. Cry to the guy friend. Rinse and Repeat.
If the guy friend would just take away the way he is. Not be there for her. Be a bit of a jerk. Make her work for it. He could probably get what he wanted. But. He’s just too good for that. He can’t risk hurting her and attempting to be something he isn’t just to make himself happy. It comes down to borderline altruism that a guy would watch a girl be happy with someone else over himself just because it’s what makes Her happy.
And Thus there’s an eternal ever perpetuating cycle. This is just what I’ve learned over the years. It was on my mind today. Because the girl I like is with someone else.. And so long as she’s happy. I’m happy. But.. that’s because I’d mess it up anyway and I really don’t wanna lose my friend. But I just thought I’d share this. Feel free to leave your own thoughts.
Nice Guys Finish Last.