In practicing my pen drawing as I have been doing.. (so please don’t judge too hard) someone asked me to draw them Pooh and friends.. and this is the picture I found that I connected with. So I drew it. Holding hands. Arms around one another. Smiling. Except of course. My favorite. That one that I’ve always identified with.
Eeyore. Lonely in a crowded room. I know his pain. I’ve come to the point in my life where I have absolutely no idea how to be. I’m supposed to be an adult and have all this crap figured out. But I don’t. And more importantly. I have no clue how to be this age. I don’t know what people this age do. I don’t know where to meet people. I mean. Where do single, twenty-something, college graduates meet others and make friends and such? For one thing, don’t Google this question if you ever have it. Because you’ll basically end up majorly depressed. The common consensus is that small towns are a pit of despair for people like me. And I’ll get to the worst part about all this small town stuff later. But for now. Here I am. In this town. Where they roll up the side walks as the sun starts to set and you can’t even hang out in the park without being hassled by the cops. This black hole of a town where hopes and dreams Die. And, as is to be expected, old people and rich people love it. You can’t even rent a place to live in this shit hole unless you make well more than the “average” middle class family. So what does a single, twenty-something with no one to split rent with do? Not rent a house and have enough money to eat or live decently, that’s for damn sure. The land two miles away from where I grew up recently sold for millions upon millions of dollars. I mean. What the hell? But I don’t want to leave. I mean. I shouldn’t have to but still. I’m stubborn I guess. As the Grandfather Molehog said in Ice Age “Well. I’m not leavin’! I was born in this hole and I’ll die in this hole.” And that’s pretty much where I’m at. So I drive thirty minutes to the nearest city with anything. Which is, by the way, on the FBI’s Most Dangerous Cities in the U.S. list, so that’s a thrilling and comfortable place to be. When people there talk to me I have absolutely no clue how to respond. I mean, I find that the general premise is kind of like that of a bartender. When they say how are you, they really just want you to say fine and go on your way. So, how do I know the difference? Where do I find the ones who are looking for friends?
Well instead of all that. This is generally what I do. Find something else to occupy me. Which is generally a road trip with myself. Especially one involving snow. I freakin’ LOVE snow. I mean. You really don’t understand. Even to just sit and watch it snow puts a smile on my face. So, I take off work and hop in the jeep and off I go. Drive hours and hours to find the snow. Just me and my ipod. Kerouac ain’t got nothin’ on me. Smile and Wave and go on with my life. That’s what I do with these days. The days I can find the courage to get out of bed and just Be. Those days when I decide to live and do life even if I have no one to share it with. Even though, as a human, I do so greatly desire someone to share my life with. So Here’s to sharing my road trip:
And then. Much of the time, Night is when it gets really bad. So Sometimes I take adventures at night. I’ll go wander through the woods. Or enjoy some moon lit waterfalls. Go to the lake. Go exploring. The world is different at night. Everything is far more magical, mystical, and all around mysterious. It can be a whole new world to escape into.
And then when the opportunity arises. Roller Coasters. All the Roller Coasters. ALL OF THEM! I took my little brother with me this time. Over and over all day long. Getting to walk straight past a two hour waiting line right up to the front is one of the most validating feelings one can feel. It awakens the inner elitist.
So then I’m left now. I have a time share. Which if not used in the very near future will expire. But. I have no one to go with so far. I mean. Aruba. Alaska. Where ever my heart desires. Fantastic adventures. Last year I went to Orlando. Go Carts for a day. All the Disney Parks. Both Universals. ALL THE ROLLER COASTERS! So even though Road trips can be a lot of fun by yourself. Finding yourself. Just you and the.. .. blah blah blah. Anyway. Sometimes. You just gotta have a friend for vacation. So here’s to hoping something comes of that soon.
Though I doubt it. Fortune cookies generally lie to me.
adarkspot 