So I was talking to someone.. .. and.. ok first off. I’ll admit I’m Very selfish when it comes to people and stuff.. Especially Girlfriends if I have one… And it’s only gotten worse over the years. The more times I get cheated on or left for some other guy (or girl) or whatever it just drives me further and further into my poor habits. But .. I guess the main root is just a lack of trust.. a lack of trust of both the girlfriend…. but more so in people. I don’t trust people Not to try to steal my girl away from me.. I know guys… It’s not that I’m not proud of my girl .. it’s that I don’t want her flaunted for the purpose of I don’t want other guys trying to steal her away from me.. This does make things.. more difficult as I have to find a girl willing to accept this about me.. In talking to a .. friend? .. the other day.. on this very topic.. I finally found an analogy that I like.. and I apologize for it’s explicit language but.. well that’s just me..
If I buy a fucking lamborghini.. I don’t want people to touch my Lamborghini. I don’t want them to rub their hands on it.. I don’t want them to kick it. I don’t want them to try to grab it. I don’t want them to handle any of its parts.. I don’t want them trying to inspect whats under the hood.. I don’t want them to try to ride it.. I don’t want them to do anything with it.. It’s mine. Mine Mine Mine. I have the only fucking key and only I can drive it.. I’m aware of that.. But I still don’t want people fucking with MY god damn lamborghini.
So.. Even If I trust “her” not to leave me.. That’s not really where my Issue lies at the moment.. This issue is I don’t want other guys to TRY to mess with her.. or try to flirt with her… or anything of such a nature.. I don’t really know what to do about it.. But I mean. That’s that..
And To further.. Pour Napalm into the wound as it were.. Just my luck.. as it is with everything.. Which.. I should probably explain.. but ANYTHING in life I elect to do.. is suddenly the Hot thing to do.. If I decided to walk down an abandoned dark alley suddenly tours would appear for the same alley. When I walk into empty stores suddenly they fill.. Just because I hate being around people and have the worst luck ever.. but yea.. It works the same with Girls.. Any girl I ‘talk’ to.. Suddenly every guy in the world realizes just how amazing she is and wants her for himself..
And it tears me apart inside.